Each week, some representatives of the ruling Servant of the People party blurt out something completely absurd, becoming subjects of mocking. MP Brahar advised a Ukrainian pensioner to sell her dog and pay for utility bills. Very witty. Very indicative attitude. And these examples are numerous.
The presidential cohort could be divided into three conditional groups: whiners, outrageous people, and creative workers. For example, Minister of Justice Denys Malyuska is both outrageous and creative. The official likes posting non-trivial photos. In his spare time from yoga, the minister is actively reforming the penitentiary system. In particular, he proposes to introduce a network of private paid pre-trial detention centers.
"In fact, this is a well-guarded hotel with a special regime. Private pre-trial detention centers will be able to generate revenues for us, which we can use to improve conditions in ordinary pre-trial detention centers, and can unload pre-trial detention centers, which are now crowded in Kyiv, Kherson, and Odesa."
(At this point, Malyushka deserves an additional bonus, since he cares of filling the budget).
But while building new temporary detention facilities (where people are kept whose fault has not yet been proven by the court), the Minister of Justice is simultaneously striving to reduce the number of prisons. According to Malyuska, two of them will be enough.
“The focus should be on sanctions of punishment, not related to deprivation of liberty. Those who go to prison, return from there, and in most cases re-commit the crime,” he notes.
He proposes to replace imprisonment with house arrest and wearing electronic bracelets. “This work would take several years. I’m not sure that I can complete it as a minister due to quick rotation,” he complains.
Dumb and layman
Convulsive attempts at all costs to fill the state treasury are quite understandable. The Ze-team completed the year 2019 with a budget deficit of 3,4 billion USD. And this is a third more than a year ago. That is why MP from ruling Servant of the People faction Danylo Getmantsev visited the idea of taxing Google, Facebook, Apple, and other services. Knowledgeable people say that this will ruin the already difficult relationship with official Washington, but what to do. Difficult times require unpopular, that is, dumb decisions.
The word "dumb" here is not an insult here. This is self-determination from the Minister of Economy Tymofiy Mylovanov. “I don’t hide this: I’m dumb,” Mr. Minister said on the air of Nash TV channel. Of course, he knows better. Who are we to argue with a minister who so self-critically assesses his mental abilities?
Or who are we to contradict Prime Minister Oleksiy Honcharuk, who honestly and frankly admits that he is a “layman in the economic issues?” This is from the well-known recordings released by the Legitymny Telegram channel.
Dog and geese
As already mentioned, it is difficult to make money in the country. Not for everyone, however, but for the majority of the population. And the percentage of fats in oil is still not growing. In connection with this, one pensioner decided to ask the authorities what should she pay for gas if the utility bills exceed her pension. MP from Servant of the People Yevhen Brahar, advised the old woman to sell her dog to pay for her utility bills.
But not all the members from Servant of the People are so cruel and mean as Brahar. MP Yuriy Kamelchuk, in collaboration with colleagues from other factions, prepared a bill to protect .. geese. And it's not a joke! The document can be found on the website of the Verkhovna Rada.
A group of MPs describes what kind of torment a goose or a duck undergoes before becoming a famous delicacy - foie gras. “During the period of forced feeding, the tube is inserted into the throat of birds 2-3 times a day for 2 weeks (for ducks) and 3 weeks (for geese) to pump a large amount of food into their body, much more than they would voluntarily eat. This practice is aimed at inducing hepatic fatty cell hypertrophy (cirrhosis of the liver),” the commentary reads.
In a word, the authors of the bill demand once and for all to end foie gras - this “product of whim and unjustified cruelty to animals for wealthy buyers.” It is interesting, however, what percentage of Ukrainian buyers can be classified as “wealthy?” And are the buyers themselves protected by the state ... No, not from force-feeding through the tube, but, for example, from refusing to provide medical care if they have no money? Similar cases, which resulted in the death of a person, are described sufficiently.
... There is such a story that when rumors reached Queen Marie Antoinette that Parisians were starving because they were short of bread, the crowned major answered: “Let them eat cakes.” In fact, there was nothing like that. When you read about this, you very vividly imagine how this phrase could be uttered by Ukrainian Minister of Social Policy Yulia Sokolovska. The one that advised the Ukrainians themselves to save money for their retirement.
At first, Sokolovska reported that transition to a funded pension system wasn’t foreseen in the foreseeable future: “Today nothing prevents us from saving money for our old age, but, unfortunately, for some reason we do not do it. It’s actually human nature. Therefore, encouraging people to save is one of the solutions. But it would be nice if people understood this and thought about old age in advance.”
Here is how to correctly explain one thing to Madame Minister?.. With her 8,700 USD (Sokolovska received such a salary in December 2019), of course, she has enough opportunities to save some money. But if a person receives some 250-300 USD per month, it will not work in any way. Even if you sell a dog, a cat, a hamster, an aquarium with your fish and half a bucket of cockroaches.
Living, dead and as yet unborn
Malyuska, Brahar, and Sokolovska firmly know what needs to be done to lead the country out of the crisis. And we are sincerely grateful to them. But there are such irresponsible officials who do not offer anything, but only complain about life.
Take, for example, Education Minister Anna Novosad. Her salary is 36,000 hryvnias (1,450 USD). And this is not enough for her. “If you ask me if this suits me as a young woman who should think about her future, about savings, about pensions, then, no doubt, this is not enough,” Novosad said in an interview.
“At some point, I want to have a child, but my salary is not enough to have one. And I’m not ready to go to a situation where someone will support me, I must have a competitive salary myself,” she continues to complain.
Novosad does not specify how families, where parents' incomes in the aggregate are significantly less than 1,450 USD, manage to survive.
Sex and the city - 2
Ze!Team also has cheerful, optimistic MPs. In particular, Queen band taught, make love. And they do it directly without leaving the workplace.
MP Bohdan Yaremenko, now the former chairman of the foreign policy committee, who ordered a prostitute right in the parliamentary chamber. Being caught red-handed, MP first stated that he wanted to play everyone. Then – after talking with prankster the Joker, which frightened him with the wrath of President Zelensky – Yaremenko began to apologize.
Another MP Yevhen Kravchuk said about the incident, when Yaremenko, under pressure of circumstances, wrote a statement of resignation: “He acted as a patriot and professional diplomat, realizing what risks there may be not so much for the party as for the Ukrainian parliament and the country as a whole in the international arena.”
Halyna Tretiakova repeated the light version of the scandal with Yaremenko. Tretiakova, chairman of the parliamentary committee on social policy, was very happy with the message from her husband about buying a new mattress. "Hooray! Sex on a new mattress! Hooray!" Tretiakova wrote.
We emphasize that in her case it was a matter of coitus with her legal spouse, that is, not a single-family value was affected. Therefore, Svyatoslav Yurash, a colleague of Tretiakova, can be calm. Recall that Yurash founded the inter-factional association “Values, Dignity, Family”, designed to counteract “attempts to destroy fundamental natural law) in the name of political fashion.”
The further course of the Russian-Ukrainian war depends, of course, on many factors, including the ability of Ukraine to present its agenda on international platforms. Among them, PACE plays an important role, where the Ukrainian delegation recently received a new head - Yelyzaveta Yasko. The 29-year-old parliamentarian from the Servant of the People had, to put it mildly, rather strange behavior.
Within a few minutes, journalists rush after Yasko in the hope of receiving at least some information. However, the young diplomat ignores compatriots in a completely non-diplomatic manner. Without parting with a glass of coffee, Yasko throws over his shoulder only one phrase: "I do not give comments." On this, communication attempts break off.
...But no matter what, we believe that everything will be fine. "There is a desire to make people feel some improvement. There is a project where people pay less for utilities. This is socialism, but it doesn’t matter how to call it. We are now building a more open economy. But I'm not an economist in terms," Oleksandr Kornienko, the chairman of the Servant of the People says, says.
But really, why do we need all these terms?.. This year will be the year of mathematics, President Zelensky decided. And what is the main thing in mathematics? The main thing is not to divide by zero, because you can only multiply by zero.