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The Miracle of Hot Water in Kyiv

Author : Internet Troll

Ukraine's capital has been without water for 5 months and the residents began to despair, when suddenly...
19:03, 2 October 2018

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Have faith in the inevitable and rejoice, for it is coming!

Cannot stop myself from crying. Tears are rolling down as I am writing this and I can help it! What else can you do when the history unfolds before your very eyes?

Not so long ago you could read about this only in ancient prophecies and scientific works, or in the Books of Knowledge. Legends about its existence were passed down from grandfather to father, from father to son, from son to comrades. And it was all within one Kyiv house.

The believers fought verbally for the idea of the existence of hot water against aggressive non-believers-non-aquatic-ape-theorists, who argued that there was no hot water, and this is all a fake made up by Kyiv City Council members to enrich themselves.

They talked about the old translations, which said that hot water on the territory of Kyiv once existed. But it was until the Great Troubles - a time when Kyiv City State Administration and Naftogaz fought with each other. After that, it vanished in the thin air.

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But I knew! I had faith it was possible! It was very difficult, but the belief in the existence of hot water lived in me all this time. Of course, I have to go to the Vodokanal and repent, as I have sinned:

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This is not the worst thing, but just another Test, which was sent to us from above. Supposedly, from the Kyiv Administration or the Cabinet.

The prime minister promises that by the end of the week Kyiv residents will finally witness The Miracle, that the taps will finally open and IT will flow out of them – The Hot Water. And the non-believer will start believing, and the believer will begin hard work to widen the awareness of our children:

“The City Hall promised to restore hot water in houses of Kyiv residents. Whilst, Kyiv has been without water 5 months. 5 months! It means there are 5 months old children who still don't know that water can be hot...,” noted one social network user.

The pilgrims from different parts of apartments, who previously heard about the Divine only from other people, will set off for a journey to the bath:

"Hot water exists! I saw a person who witnessed it. Halleluiah!"

And they will see IT:

“It happened! I saw IT! I touched IT. I showered in IT. After a month of meditations in the shower, training of my mind and body, I now can see! Today, IT came over to me. Now I know the second tap has been made for a purpose! You have to believe it too! May the Hot Water be with us,” another user wrote.

And they will remember those who helped to accomplish this:

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And remember their troubles and inconveniences:

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And vain promises:

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And the complexity of choosing containers:

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And despite the rumours about hot water:

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The importance of ITS appearance is difficult to overestimate. You do not have to dance shaman dances with basins and other containers, you will not have to lie to your children that the second faucet is needed only for emergencies, and it is strictly forbidden to unscrew it. Finally, you will not have to write letters to Santa asking for the hot water, crying secretly from children over the realization of futility of such pleas.

And what’s especially important – there is no need to engage the shamans anymore, as they did, judging by the video, somewhere at Shulyavsky market (if you understand what I mean).

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Система Orphus

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